©2019 by John Hemming-Clark.


Take this 12 question multiple choice quiz then look at the answers to find out.
Troll warning: Please note that this is meant to be a bit of fun and should not be taken (too) seriously.
Thank you.

1. What do you allow scouts to do when they arrive early for meetings?

a. o Play a game that you have prepared and that scouts can join in with as they arrive.

b. o Talk about what they've been doing during the day.

c. o Run around.

d. o Nothing. They must sit down quietly and wait. They should arrive on time and not before.

2. A scout is being particularly disruptive, Do you

a. o Take them to one side and tell them to stop what they are doing otherwise they will be sent home.

b. o Sit them down with an assistant leader / parent next to them.

c. o Shout at them to stop or you will put them in a corner with a dunce's hat on their head.

d. o Do nothing. Let them continue with their poor behaviour. It's their meeting after all.

3. When you arrive on camp, what do you do first?

a. o Put up a mess tent / shelter and set up the kitchen facilities.

b. o Put down some tarps for the scouts to put their rucksacks on when they arrive.

c. o Make a cup of tea.

d. o Go down the pub, leaving a note saying what time you'll be back and you expect everything to be sorted.

4. A scout wakes you up in the middle of the night to inform you that another scout in their tent has been sick. Do you

a. o Get up, get dressed, check the sick scout to ascertain whether they need to go to hospital / ring their parents to come and collect them / put them with a spare sleeping bag in the spare tent that you have previously erected, clear up the sick and check on them in the morning.

b. o Tell them to clear up the mess and go and sleep in the mess tent with a spare sleeping bag that you have brought.

c. o Leave them in the tent and tell them that you will sort it out in the morning.

d. o Tell the scout to tell the sick scout that they must leave immediately and find their way home. You're not getting out of your comfortable sleeping bag until it's time to get up.

5. A personal friend asks if you have space in your scout section for their child but you are full up. Do you

a. o Tell them that they will need to go on a waiting list and they will only be able to jump the queue if they are willing to commit to helping out regularly.

b. o Tell them that you have a waiting list and they will have to wait their turn.

c. o Tell them that they can jump the queue if they make a payment to you of £500 (cash).

d. o Tell them that you'll sort it out. The following week kick out the scout that you've never liked or who won't make a fuss, tell them that it's due to their unacceptable behaviour then ring your friend and tell them that a place has suddenly and unexpectedly come available.

6. You spend an evening playing a wide game in the local woods. When you do a head count at the end of the game you find that one scout is missing. Do you

a. o Leaving one leader with the scouts send the other adults back into the woods to find the missing scout.

b. o Send everyone out in pairs to find the missing scout.

c. o Return to the scout hut leaving one or two adults behind to find the missing scout.

d. o All return to the scout hut telling the scouts that the missing one will have to find their own way home.

7. Bear Grylls drops by unexpectedly to a scout meeting. Do you

a. o Ask him what he would like to do with the scouts and make space in your planned evening's activities to accommodate him.

b. o Suggest that he talks to the scouts for a few minutes then has a question and answer session.

c. o Tell him that you have a programme to adhere to but he's welcome to sit and watch so long as he can produce his DBS certificate (enhanced).

d. o Tell the scouts the meeting's finished and take him down the pub to advise him of where he's going wrong as Chief Scout.

8. The scouts have been practicing their hand-axe skills and one manages to chop a finger clean off. Do you

a. o Get someone to 'phone for an ambulance while you wrap the severed finger in ice, compress the exposed wound all the while explaining to the scout what you are doing.

b. o 'Phone for an ambulance and ask the operator to tell you what to do whilst waiting.

c. o Put a bandage over the open wound.

d. o Tell the scout off for being so careless then give them some Sellotape and tell them to "sort it out."

9. You're bag packing at the local supermarket. What do you do with the money raised?

a. o Give it to a local charity.

b. o Spend it on group activities.

c. o Let the scouts who raised it keep it.

d. o Tell anyone who asks that it's for disaster relief but keep it yourself to spend on a new iPhone.

10. A scout is very keen to go on the go-karting activity that you have organised but has said that their mother has told them that they can't go because she can't afford it. Do you

a. o Tell their mother that they can go because you have some money in reserve for such a situation.

b. o Tell their mother that they can go and that she can have a discount and pay the balance off over several months.

c. o Tell the scout that they can go if they contribute a little bit from their pocket money.

d. o Tell them to tell their mother to get a job or, if she has one, a better paid one because until she pays up they're not going.

11. A scout stumbles across you sitting in the mess tent swigging from a bottle of whiskey. Do you

a. o 'Phone up your District Commissioner to tell them what has happened and to apologise and to say that you will resign if they feel it expedient.

b. o Apologise to the scout and say that you have fallen short of the standard expected of you and say that it won't happen again.

c. o Tell the scout to announce their arrival before coming in next time.

d. o Pour out a mugful of whiskey for the scout and tell them that no one need know if they don't say anything.

12. Your scout group has authorised the purchase of a new top quality ten-person patrol tent. Do you

a. o Buy one.

b. o Buy a cheaper version and a small new tent for yourself for scout camps.

c. o Renovate an old ten-person tent that you have in the stores and buy yourself a top-of-the-range four season sleeping bag.

d. o Put the money on White Lighting at the 3.30 at Haydock Park.


Mostly As. You are a model Scout Leader, a great example to your fellow leaders and the scouts that you lead. If you haven't yet received The Chief Scout's Commendation for Good Service then it won't be far off!

Mostly Bs. You are mostly a diligent and professional Scout Leader who does their best nearly all the time although there is sometimes room for a little improvement.

Mostly Cs. You are probably the type of person who is a Scout Leader for the wrong reasons which include trying to get more out of it than you put in. You are easily led astray and a period of reflection and retraining would probably be a good idea.

Mostly Ds. You are lazy, dishonest, irresponsible, rude, unprincipled and a danger to the young people in your care. Carry on - you are typical of most of the Scout Leaders in the world today.